Say WHAT?!!!

 im known for saying the wrong things 
most of the time. 
Not to anyone in particular.
I just dont always think before i speak.
Prime examples, right here. 
Enjoy! 

"Im married to a man that cant be tied down with a plan"

"Apparently shoes are just huge chunks of random things with tiny string to hold them on your feet"

To myself in the car: "What do i have done? Nothing. I know. Im starting to panic. PANIC!!" 

"Tate. Who is Tate? I wanna be like Tate. Tate kinda scares me." 

"Nothing makes you feel old like getting a swivel chair with wheels stuck on the carpet and not being able to move"

"IT EXPLODED!!!"

"You better not pee on my couch. I draw the line at friends peeing on my couch."

"Break me off a piece of that!"  (referring to chicken tenders..)

"Im so tired I don't want to be comforting" 

"Yea, I'm just taller than I thought."  

"That deserves a little jiggle wiggle"  

" Everyone tells you: 'think outside the box' and im like what box? i dont see a box?" 

"i have a problem with cheese" 

"Hello Mr. Bee. I dont have anything for you. I know i look like a flower, but im not." 

"KALE! What am I suppose to do with kale?!!!"

"TURDS!!!?? There are turds all around ME!!!" 

"This may be my new favorite side dish." 

"Holy POOP SCOOP!" 

"Thank Goodness for LEVON!!!"

"That's what happens. Sometime you fall out of trees." 

"Oh my word! Shes like a mini stalker!!"

"I look like Marsha from the Brady Bunch." 

"I didnt really think this outfit through. I look old, and it DOESNT MATCH!" 

"Frumpy. That is the word i would use to describe my look." 

" I dont want to mow over any people.I want to mow over some FENCES!"

"See what page im on today? The wrong page." 

"Im not crabby, i just dont want to be here." 

"She's friends with the devil" 

"You guys are so married. Its ridiculous." 

"I think something happened. Like i was typing and i hit my head on the keyboard."

"I cant hold back. I HAVE SO MUCH MUSIC IN ME!!!!!!"

"Its like trying to be a love song but its dumb"

"Make sure you dont touch the walls, ok? There all sweaty" 

"Its got its own Executive Suite." 

"Thats not a love song! Thats a break up song!!!" 

"I dont worry about that anymore. Im living the dream right here!"

"I wish you would be by me."

"Only I can get a paper cut from a cardboard box."

"The man in mirror scares me."